How to stop the vicious circle of emotional hunger
You currently might face a challenging period; Things are not going the way you want to, and somehow, you realise that your nutrition habits have changed, so who to blame? Your nutrition habits, right? But the process you are into has other roots; dieting will not solve the conflict, and exploring your emotional world will.
In my job, I often hear from clients: “I normally eat extremely healthy, but when I argue with my partner, with my boss, etc., I feel terrible. I want to be on my own, and I binge. Since this challenging period is lasting for quite a long time now, I have gained a lot of weight. So, now I decided to do a diet, but I am not losing weight, and I am desperate; what else can I try?”
The fact is, dieting alone does not help.
Suppose you start to perceive that your eating habits change in times of crisis or sentimental disappointment. In that case, the solution is certainly not to go to a dietician or follow a “self-made diet” because you might not lose weight despite eating less. However, our body is brilliant and indicates where the roots and the solutions are: In the case mentioned above, it is about the high amount of calories she eats and the range of emotions needing care.
Food under these emotional circumstances is either a painkiller, an escape or a punishment with collateral damages.
Food is not the right solution to fight the current emotional status. For example, my client fights the pain of disappointment with pleasure by eating more sweets and salty/fried food. But just like any painkillers or sedatives, food has only a momentary effect and has side effects (gaining weight, feeling guilty, sad, etc.).
The day will come when the situation might get highly uncomfortable, and you must tackle the problem at its source. Therefore, it is essential to grab the problem at its source and look at its inner demons.
The roots for binging after an argument or a disappointment can be
1. You are afraid to look at the sentimental issue closer and process it.
2. Being afraid of the reactions of the other person.
3. Fear of being abandoned or further hurt.
4. Avoid dealing with the issue and talking about it sincerely and transparently. When avoiding sincere talking about the topic, one automatically takes refuge in a “domestic bliss”, where food is an immense consolation, like our mum or dad used to calm us down in our early years.
The difference is that now as an adult, you have all the resources and capacities to deal with your partner, colleague, etc., in a very constructive way, expressing your emotions and feelings to the other person and describing what hurt you.
So the binging replaces the sincere couple’s dialogue that did not happen, and all the unsaid words become many calories paired with a feeling of dependency.
Leave the child zone and allow you to overcome any difficulty knowing that you can and can. This awareness of “I can manage my emotions; I decided, I am the master and not the slave” is a highly effective method against overweight than any diet.
Remember: You do not eat out of appetite but escape from an uncomfortable emotion.
So next time you are facing this kind of situation, take a minute to observe what is happening and invite your emotional eater to take a seat in front of you and relax.
📸 Pascale Weber for Nala Chocolates